Why am I here?
It’s a question that has plagued humanity since long before we could drown out our existential dread with alcohol, drugs, junk food, porn, video games, etc. It’s a question that I’ve asked numerous times.
Or is it? Is that the question I asked? Or are those the words I uttered at my lowest, when the pain was broaching upon that line which, once crossed, would have simply been too much to bear?
The fact is, those four words are only part of the question. The real question in most cases is, “Why am I here if not to experience what it really means to be alive?” or “Why am I here if all I experience is this unending pain?” or one of many other variations of the same.
Those are good questions. Much more pointed and emotionally charged than simply asking, “Why am I here?”
“Why am I here?” is asked when one forgets why he traveled to a place, not when staring into the abyss and feeling the full weight of the abyss staring back into him.
People aren’t seeking an answer to that question, not on a philosophical level. They’re seeking an answer to why they’re here if it isn’t to experience life and all its goodness in the fullest way that they are able. It’s, “Am I here just to carry this crushing weight? If so, what’s the point? Why not just shed the weight and end this miserable existence?”
I don’t think people are looking for a reason to explain why there is life instead of death, at least in a way that is personal to them. The true heart’s cry echoing through eternity from humanity past, present, and future is one that involves much more than that. No, what we want to know is deeper and more abiding. We don’t look for meaning when we feel fully alive, because the meaning is evident.
We seek that feeling because it is the the thing that tells us not why we’re here, but that we really are here and that life is worth whatever burden we must bear because it’s real and beautiful and powerful and, well, it’s LIFE! It is the goodness, the light, and everything that life is, its substance, stands in opposition to that black abyss which beckons so many of us into its all-encompassing darkness.
We are looking not for the meaning behind why we’re here, but rather the experience of really being alive. That is an important distinction because once you understand its truth you can see how important it is that you actually go out and live. The onus is on you to make your life worth living. You cannot rely on any other person to do this for you, and you cannot think your way to it either. You must do.
Go and explore, find adventure, find love, follow the still, small voice of God, Who calls you to greater things. We were made for a world that was not fallen, that was perfect. We won’t have that in this lifetime, but we can still live the way God created us to live, not in fear or insecurity or asking questions for which we will not receive an answer anytime soon. Instead, live for the experience of living!
Until next time,