You know the feeling.
Your chest is tight. Your head feels like it’s about to burst. Your patience is worn to threads. And then—of course—something big lands on your plate. People are looking at you for direction, expecting the steady, confident leader you usually are.

But inside? You’re not steady at all.

This is leadership in the real world: leading when your own emotions are frayed. Whether it’s personal stress bleeding into work, a high-stakes situation shaking your confidence, or simple exhaustion, every leader eventually finds themselves here.

And here’s the hard truth: your team still needs you.

So how do you lead effectively when you feel like you’re barely holding it together yourself?

1. Acknowledge the Storm, Don’t Pretend It’s Clear Skies

There’s a difference between composure and suppression.

Suppressing your emotions—stuffing them down, ignoring them, or pretending they don’t exist—always backfires. You can’t lead others well if you’re lying to yourself about where you’re at.

Instead, acknowledge what’s really going on: “I’m angry. I’m overwhelmed. I’m tired.” Name it internally. This simple act of self-awareness stops the emotion from hijacking you unconsciously.

Pro Tip: If possible, take two minutes alone before you step into the room. Breathe deeply. Name what you’re feeling. You can’t control the storm if you don’t admit it’s there.

2. Detach the Emotion From the Action

Command presence isn’t about being emotionless—it’s about being anchored.

When emotions run high, you need a gap between what you feel and what you do. That gap is where intentional leadership happens.

Try this simple practice:

Pause. Even a five-second pause slows your reactivity.

Ask yourself: “What does this moment need from me, not what do I want to unload right now?”

Respond from your values, not your mood.

Detachment doesn’t mean you don’t care. It means you refuse to let your emotions dictate your next move.

3. Use Your Body as an Anchor

When you can’t control your emotions immediately, control your physiology.

Your nervous system listens to your body. So:

Plant your feet. Feel the ground.

Unclench your jaw and fists.

Slow your breathing. Inhale for 4 counts, exhale for 6.

This tells your brain: You are safe. You are grounded. You can lead.

In chaotic moments, your body language also becomes the team’s barometer. They don’t just hear your words—they feel your energy.

4. Communicate Clearly, Not Perfectly

If your team senses something’s off (and they usually do), acknowledge it without oversharing:

“It’s been a heavy day, but we’ve got what it takes to handle this. Let’s stay focused.”

Honesty builds trust. Pretending everything’s fine when it obviously isn’t erodes it. You don’t need to unload your baggage—just be real enough to keep your humanity intact.

5. Anchor Yourself in Purpose

When you’re emotionally off balance, it’s easy to get lost in the swirl of your feelings. The fastest way out is to return to why you’re here.

Why does this work matter?

What do these people need from me?

What kind of leader do I want to be in this moment?

Purpose cuts through emotional noise. It reminds you that you’re more than your temporary state.

6. After the Moment, Process It

Once the dust settles, don’t just move on. Reflect.

What triggered me?

How did I respond?

How can I prepare better for next time?

Leading through emotional turbulence is like strengthening a muscle—it grows with intentional use.

And if you need help? Get it. Strong leaders don’t go it alone. Talk to a mentor, counselor, or trusted friend.

The Takeaway

You don’t have to wait to “feel okay” to lead well.

In fact, some of your most defining moments as a leader will come when you’re leading through your own emotional storm. What matters most isn’t that you feel in control—it’s that you choose composure, clarity, and purpose over chaos.

That’s real Command Presence.

Question for you: What’s your go-to method for staying grounded when you’re emotionally off balance? Share it in the comments—we’d love to hear it.